First Anniversary and More Culture Shock

Getting To Know Chris' Family and Friends

One of my main reasons for coming back to the U.S. over Christmas was to get to meet Chris' family.  Chris is the music director for his church, so we stayed in Northern Virginia that day for Christmas Eve services, had dinner and opened gifts at home afterwards.  Then early on Christmas morning, we drove down to Windsor, VA, which is a 2.5 - 3 hour drive.  In my 18 years of living in Virginia, I never got to know any part of the state other than Northern Virginia, so it was a treat for me to have Chris drive through Richmond and Norfolk, highlighting some of the best things about these two cities.

We then arrived to the small town of Windsor.  It's a flat lying area, with mostly detached, single ranch or two-story homes.  Many of them were nicely decorated for Christmas.  Chris pointed out those homes which he had decorated either this year or in years past and which they were still using the decorations that he had created and installed for their homes.

We finally stopped at Chris' mom's home.  I got to meet his mom a couple of days before when Chris directed the Christmas Cantata at his church and his mom, sister, niece and sister-in-law drove up to attend it.  That helped to break the ice and made Christmas day a little easier for me to get reacquainted with her and to meet the rest of Chris' family, including his two brothers, spouses, nephews and nieces.  There were about 22 of us for Christmas dinner, which started about 1:30 pm.  I felt that I was well received and welcomed.  I especially felt that Chris' mom and sister thought well of me, which I was happy about.

During this short time in Windsor and Norfolk, Chris drove to see a number of friends and introduced me to them.  It was so helpful for me to get to know the family and friends of the man that I have fallen deeply in love with and to hear the stories that have helped to influence and shape his character and life.  They are wonderful people who love Chris very much and I feel fortunate to have gotten to know them.

December 28 - Our Anniversary

I met Chris during the summer of 2013, but we did not have our first date until Dec 28 of that year. 

When I first met Chris, I immediately was attracted to him, but for various reasons we did not begin a relationship at that time.   And then there were a few months where we did not cross paths.  I had recently separated from my ex and was finding my way as a single man after 18 years as well as preparing for my upcoming retirement at the end of January and my planned move to Barcelona in the Spring.  On Dec 21, I went with friends to the Gay Men's Chorus Holiday Concert at Lisner Auditorium and before the concert I went downstairs to use the restroom.  As I was making my way back to go upstairs and find my seat, I saw Chris among a few other chorus members who were taking a break right before the start of the concert.  That spark of attraction grabbed me and my heart pounded as I approached him and we started talking.  With little time to chat, we quickly decided to go out and have dinner over the Holidays.  That happened on Dec 28 and the rest is history.  We celebrated our first anniversary yesterday.

A Longer List of Observed Cultural Differences

With a full week of being immersed in my native culture, I was reminded of a number of differences between life in the DC area and Barcelona:

Airport Instructions: I thought it was curious that when I got to Dulles airport when I arrived in the U.S. and as we were approaching passport control, there were two officials there yelling at the top of their lungs and instructing us about which line we should go in.  I just don't see officials in European airports yelling at passengers about anything, but I recall many occasions in U.S. airports where it seems to be that yelling (without the assistance of a speaker) is one of the preferred methods of communication.

Driving vs. Walking: Other than New York city, and a few city centers in the U.S., it is absolutely essential to have a car to get around.  Before I moved to Barcelona I used to have some major issues with my lower back that would flare up every few months or so.  In the 10 months in Barcelona, I have had no issues with my back, which I believe is due to the amount of walking I do there and how that has strengthened my back.

Eating and Food - Abundance or Excess:  I continue to be amazed at the amount of food that is served in U.S. restaurants as well as the abundance of other things such as napkins and drinks.  We seem to be almost obsessed with having lots of food, which I believe contributes to the national dilemma of obesity.

All Food Served at Once:  In Spain, whether in a restaurant or in a person's home, food is served in phases: first course, second course, dessert, coffee (separate than dessert) and then possibly after dinner drinks.  In the U.S., especially in most homes, we usually compress that to just one course with two sides and later dessert with coffee.  It makes for time spent around the table much shorter and for table conversations to be much quicker.

Cheese, cheese and more cheese: I find that we have many more dishes in the U.S. that include cheese than they have in Spain.  Good, quality cheese is an ingredient that is used in some Spanish or Catalan dishes but it is not as ubiquitous as it is in the U.S.

User Manuals: One of the Christmas presents that I got Chris was a watch that had a number of features, including dual time so that he will always know what time it is in Spain.  When he opened up the box, he asked me if I could set up the times for him.  I opened the instructions.  It had in no less than 21 different languages!!  This is not unusual in Europe.  In the U.S., you may see user manuals in English and Spanish and sometimes in French.

Giving Wine as a Gift: In both Spain and the U.S., bringing a bottle of wine as a gift to your host's home when you are invited over for dinner is common.  However, in Spain, the polite thing to do is to actually serve the wine with your meal.  In the U.S., it is not expected and in most cases is not done.

White vs. Brown Eggs:  Although you can find white eggs in Barcelona, it is much more common to have brown eggs.  It still seems strange to me to see white eggs in Chris' refrigerator.

Gold Toe Socks:  You can tell that someone is from the U.S. if you see that they have gold toe socks.  To the best of my knowledge, that does not exist in Spain or in Europe.  Of course, not all socks in the U.S, have gold toes, but you do see them often here.